From Alien to Self: A Journey of Internal Healing

An image of someone accepting transformation

So much self-discovery and transformation have happened for these past three years, that the rigid and unfeeling person I was once before, now feels like such an alien to me.


Looking back, I sincerely can’t believe how I convinced myself that those who are emotional and affectionate are the ones with unresolved traumas from their pasts. Until I learned from the book “The Body Keeps the Score,” that repressing emotions can actually even be more damaging— from migraines to hair loss, and in my case, even a year-long cessation of my menstrual cycle.



The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk MD

I was inspired to be better after moving out and learning that even my friends, who seems bubbly and carefree, were actually suicidal. This realization helped me expand my perspective, and made me even more appreciative to those around me. I say I’ve come along way— from getting drained by movies and emojis, to now validating my friends’ and families’ feelings and emotions.


At one point, I remember being such an excited, bold, sweet, appreciative, and witty little kid, but life seems to have changed me over time. I realized, negative happenings don’t always have to remain negative, twist them a little, give them a bit of spice and you’ll come out so much better and stronger and happier. Self-reflection and emotional healing really do a lot. Now I have nothing but eagerness to reclaim the vibrant, authentic, childlike zest for life that once defined me— to be that person who finds beauty in everything, even in change and the unknown.

THIS POTATO IS ABOUT TO BE FRENCH FRIES

Thank God I am now part of creative writing team of ADPROS. ADPROS is the official academic organization of Public Relations and Advertising in Polytechnic University of the Philippines. My answers are way too absurd, I didn’t expect  I’ll get the chance to pass the screening!! Anyways, I am nothing but excited for upcoming events and writings we were about to create! hehe

And to be frank, I’ve never been a part of an organization before, I did became a member of Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics Organization way back in senior high school years but I just became one cause it happens that I am a STEM student— nothing more, nothing less— not because I have something valuable to bring to the table. And I hate that. I hate involving myself into something I am not welcomed in the first place— people play a huge part here.  Now I somehow feel valuable, I no longer feel bewildered and acutely aware of myself and as the title says, I literally feel like a potato who’s on its way to becoming french fries✨✨

It’s just really a breath of a fresh air that I can now finally do things I really enjoy doing along with these new faces of ardent creative peeps.  I know, I know, I need to buff up my writing but I’m so so happy I am officially tagged as “creative writer” ( ꈍᴗꈍ).

From field of “Science and Mathematics” to “World of Creatives”.

The reason why I shifted path.

Science lab

I have been working toward becoming a Civil Engineer since junior high school but in the midst of senior high school year, I realized that my passion for the strand was no longer there. Upon further reflection, Civil Engineering was not a dream of mine, but my folks’. I recognized that my childhood love for the Arts, business and writing has never really gone away. You see, I grew up with my mom’s business ideas, my father’s writings and my drawings posted on our bedroom walls, and those things has always inspired me. But ironically, as much as I love them, I never understood that they were careers I could pursue.

this is me browsing Ms. Cheekie’s articles

Until I stumbled upon an article and got jazzed how words creatively gaggled with matching conversational yet fun storytelling.  My eyes captured Cheekie Albay written in the byline, scourged through net and—in a way I kinda hoard most of her written articles and saved them for future reads— varying from love to gossips to her own stories and areas in between!! I started stalking her social media accounts and  learned that she does content writing for living and decided wanting to be just like her.

I stan Ms. Cheekie Albay ❤

I also browsed other local and foreign editors that could have the same writing style as hers but I couldn’t find one that resonates with me as much as her articles do. They’re just different, fresh,  well-written—and I have no idea how she did it but reading her articles made me feel certain feelings that feels like they could come only from her.

Ms. Cheekie’s writings were such a talisman to me when my motivation was at all time low—when I am stuck and lost and merely doing things unalive. I used to hate writing, reading and the English language per se, so I just really want to thank Ms. Cheekie Albay for ushering me into world of creativity and for bringing the inner artsy-writer in me!!